Scene ii: In which the customer wins

A CUSTOMER stands at the register, ordering drinks for himself and his wife and chatting with BARISTA.

CUSTOMER
My wife is a lovely woman. She doesn't realize how lovely.

BARISTA
Aw, how sweet.

CUSTOMER
Just like that poor actress, what was her name? The one who stabbed herself.

BARISTA
Wait, what?

CUSTOMER
Yeah, it's all over the internet. Some actress who just got divorced stabbed herself the other day. Really sad. I think her name was Reese something.

BARISTA
Reese Witherspoon?!

CUSTOMER
No, with her knife.

end scene.

Scene i: "Is this mine?"

CUSTOMER--a man in his early seventies wearing a sweater vest--walks into the cafe, clearly confused by the new environment in which he has suddenly found himself. He walks to the bar to order, then is turned away to find the register. Once successfully finding the register he begins to order, then is silenced so that the person standing in front of him may finish his own order. Once successfully waiting for his turn and ordering two lattes, he walks back to the bar.

CUSTOMER

(pointing to a sandwich in a bag on the bar)

Is this mine?

BARISTA

(while steaming the milk for his lattes)

I don't know sir, what did you order?

CUSTOMER
Two lattes and a muffin. I have my muffin here (holds up BAG in hand) and I'm waiting on my lattes.

BARISTA

(Laughs)

Well then logically...

(BARISTA and CUSTOMER meet eyes. It becomes clear that CUSTOMER was not kidding. Awkward beat.)

BARISTA
No. It isn't.

CUSTOMER
Oh.

end scene.